10.30.2005

OK listen

The fact is, none of us hate anybody... or at least i don't


This blog is for us to express our feelings on whatever subject we see fit.

We try to keep it entertaining to spark debate any whatnot
We mean no harm

so if u dont like it... suck a dick bitches

<3

10.26.2005

so, here's the deal.

it's not that i don't have anything interesting to say. i have plenty of interesting things to say. for instance, the tv show lost is quite good, and itunes is so sweet now that you can buy episodes in their store. also, it looks like some bush administration officials are going to be indicted today or tomorrow. the poorman is extremely funny, and linkin park blows horse balls. in other news, rock stars are doing coke, republicans are lying in order to line their pockets and get more american kids killed on some godforsaken rock, used car salesmen wear bad toupees, and no one reads this blog.

what?

no one reads this blog. give me a reason to write and i'll make more of an effort to find time to write. but this is a two-way street. i'm trying to foster a conversation, you ungrateful fuckers!

10.24.2005

I hate chain letters

I'm going to find the stupid bitch who makes all these god damn chain letters and im going to slit her throat

I know its a fucking girl, cuz girls make stupid crap like that... she probably sits at home by herself worshiping aaron carter and making chain letters that say:

"if you dont copy and repost this, a man will appear at your bed side and kill you violently... right after that, a girl will crawl through your window and across your ceiling down to you and she will eat your rotting corpse so no one will know your missing, and you will have bad luck in relationships for 395 years."


Its definitely Angela Castaldo... fucking dumb bitch. For those of you who don't know who Angela Castaldo is, I went to high school with her, and shes a dumb bitch... thats all that you need to know really

Its either her, or you, you fucking loser



I'm gonna go shoot myself in the head, cuz if any of these chain letters actually work... my g/f is gonna leave me, my mom will die, i'll lose all my money, i'll get in a tragic car accident, have terrible luck with girls for the next 3000 years or so, and like 30 people are gonna kill me tonight.

wish me luck

10.22.2005

NEWSFLASH: Overhyped, Overpaid Athlete is Asshole

From the fine folks at the Superficial, we learn that good old A-Rod is not only completely failing to earn his record-setting salary on the field, he's also doing his best to alienate the few people willing to look past his unremarkable performance with the Yankees and see the spoiled little boy inside.

goddamn, what a fucking tool. hey buddy, why aren't you at work? oh, that's right. you fucking losers got eliminated. by the astros. the fucking ASTROS.
i mean, shit man. they've never even been to the series before.

you may now return to not giving a shit about baseball anyway.

essen Sie meine Scheiße!

Heute fühle ich wie das Schreiben eines gesamten blog auf Deutsch. Während ich weiß,SIND die meisten von Ihnen nicht in der Lage, dieses zu lesen, ich glauben sein besseres auf diese Weise, cuz jetzt kann ich über Ihnen lustig machen und Sie wissen nicht..., obwohl normalerweise ich gerade über Ihrem shitty Leben zu Ihrem Gesicht lustig mache!

Sowieso habe ich nichts, das wichtig ist zu sagen, also sehen Sie Sie neueres.

Weibchen.

P.S. Ich wurde, also treten Sie Ihren Esel in TRON!

oh, the tears, the tears of laughter. cry for me, clown boy!



Pootie Tang: ok i have three posts, and i've suddenly realized, there are a lot of things i'm angry at...

Scudworth says...


classic!

10.21.2005

I love clubs, Techno, and Blowouts

I lied about the whole title of this thing

I hate clubbing italians with their incredibly overused spikey hair

You wanna dance tough guy? Lemme shoot at your feet, asshole


boom chik boom chik boom chik boom chik boom chik... thats my impression of techno

Its also my impression of me shooting and reloading my gun in a club full of guidos listening to techno...


If anyone on this forum has the hair style proudly called "The Blow-out" just let me know, and i'll gladly blow your brains out. Bitch.

Now on to real things!!

So Heres what i say, so listen... turn down whatever garbage your listening to and put that stupid away message up that reads "OuT... HiT uP dA ceLL- (insert number here)"

We aallll know you have that away message, fucking loser.

Anyway back to important things, like what i have to say!

I'm here to officially state that if you do not like Between The Buried And Me, you are a fuckhead.

Fuckhead- n, (fuk•hed) 1. One who sucks at everything he/she does. 2. One who has no taste in anything at all. 3. A complete moron 4. You.

As of right now, they are the best band ever. While many of you may not appreciate metalcore/grindcore music, and the piercing vocals that go along with it, surely you can understand that they are possibly the best group of MUSICIANS to come together and write music ever. I highlight the word musicians, because its tough to find a musician in anything you listen to.

I have told myself over and over again, by the time between the buried and me breaks up and calls it quits, they will have written everything. Yes i meant everything. There will be no more music left to write, because ever possible combonation of notes and values and keys will all have been written by Between the Buried and Me...

And you wanted to start a shitty pop-punk band... Good luck kid!



In other news, We here at Rock Snob, are better than you.

Good day

The Pootie Tang Story

Hello people that matter less

I am the newest blogger on the Rock Snob forum. As the newest member, I plan on explaining what im here for. I'm proud to call myself the resident "Metal-Head", "Scene kid", "Hardcore Fan", or what have you... While almost all music can get me aroused, metal/hardcore/and polka seem to create the biggest erection (of the mind)...

Anyhoo, For those of you who have taste and can appreciate a man screaming into a microphone, I will be your tour guide to new music from more well known bands, and the discovery of some new ones in the underground scene. Basically a plethera of music that is better than yours.

I also plan on sharing my opinions on numerous other topics as well, like how much i want to see SAW II... If you don't want to see saw 2, you should be shot.

I also plan on preaching the benefits of Red Bull, possibly the greatest drink of all time.
Many people say it tastes like something different than what the guy before them said... I plan on posting every one of them, as a space user...
So far the list consists of:
-Robotussin
-Cough Drops
-Shit
-Carbonated Medicine
-Pez
-"It tastes like winning the nobel peace prize"


Thats all for the time being, so go back to sucking

10.20.2005

Smattering

some highlights from the blogosphere today:

ThinkProgress takes us inside the No Spine Zone.

Watertiger shows us a night on the town with Disco Rummy.

I haven't checked yet today, but I'm sure the Rude Pundit has something insightful and patently offensive to share with the class.

and, just in case you had forgotten about the bird flu, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! Chris at AmericaBlog has the details.

more later if i feel like it.

10.19.2005

haha life is too good today

helping me forget about my extreme insomnia are happy little things like this: House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's (R-Texas) arrest warrant. PDF format.


That tickles me in a way that, if Loretta tickled me that way, I'd say, "Mmm, yeah. That's the spot. That's nice."


Always a Party, Schadenfreude City!

a little bit of good news for you liberals/progressives/not-monkeyfuck-insane types out there: President Bush may have lied to Federal Investigators in the Valerie Plame Leak investigation. You see, the NY Daily News reported today that someone in the administration let it slip that in 2003, Bush was pissed off at Karl Rove when he admitted having participated in the leak. He wasn't pissed off that someone would leak the identity of a No Official Cover agent, endangering both the lives of American spies and the viability of US intelligence-gathering operations. He was pissed off that they had "done an amateur job," as in, that they got caught.

here's where it gets interesting: it has already been reported that Bush told federal investigators that Rove told him he hadn't been involved in the leak.

I know what you're thinking. "But...but...the President wouldn't...LIE under oath, would he?" Of course not, dear child. of course not. The President refused to testify under oath. he was just answering questions. But regardless, telling investigators one thing when the opposite is true sounds, to this country lawyer, like Obstruction of Justice. Then again, this administration has been consistently, openly contemptible of all three things Superman swore to protect: Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

hat tip to the Talent Show.

um yeah

So uh umm yeah I decided to actually read some of the blogs and believe you me they were quite interesting except that whole post about the rolling stones, (how can someone not like satisfaction it's like being un-american?) I wonder if this actually reaches any one out in internet land. The amount of garbage on the internet I wouldn't be suprised if this goes unnoticed ( at least unnoticed for ten years until by some freak accident they figure out how to clone Hunter Thompson from one of his ashes on Woody Creek, and he's like I think I'll catch up on what I missed for ten years so he goes on an incredible coke binge reading everything he can on the internet somehow gets linked here from some porn site, and he committs suicide for our talent going unknown and the cops have to wipe the blood from the computer screen in order to see what made this clone of a genius blow his head off, and they see our writting, and we become famous, and national icons, and we can wipe our asses with some ben franklins and fuck a different bitch every hour...yeah that sounds right.)

so yeah

I was walking along and came upon some greesy squinty eyed kid he gave me two pills that were labeled "eat me." Being the rule abiding citizen that I am I quickly fell into the dark hole that opened under me. I fell in complete darkness for ten straight hours and landed here at Rock Snob Confidential. I don't know what this is about, but that I'm suppose to write so that is what I do; I write, and then I will get a snack, yeah that sounds good.

Each Person They Kill, Gets Up and Kills!

via the onion, we learn that the Zombie Preparedness Institute has released a study saying the Pittsburgh is completely unprepared for a zombie outbreak.

Some of the more disturbing pieces of outdated zombie preparedness include:
*Lack of adequate routes for evacuation
*Emergency shelters in disrepair
*Cars and sheds considered adequate shelter
*Failure to take zombies' basic reasoning abilities into account
*Instructing Federal Undead Management Agency (FUMA) employees to shoot zombies in the torso, a mistake so insane it should be hysterical.

it's times like this that make me glad i have this.

ahahahhhhaaaaahahahahackcough

a little taste of our new film/politics guy:

Road********: i'm a large bi-sexual black woman who lives in louisiana
Road********: yeah i live there with my racist hard core republican husband
Road********: we have our disagreements
Road********: but we're in love...



also, just in case you don't know:
Ice Blue Raspberry Lemonade flavor Kool-Aid is great. much better than the stuff they had at the party i went to at that compound in waco. that stuff smelled like almonds.



and, holy shit. bill o'reilly was on the daily show last night. He seemed offended that right after the show would be "some french guy making fun of me." ah, Stephen Colbert's the Colbert Report is so funny. and what a sweet can...anyways, i'm getting sidetracked. Crooks and Liars has the video of it. very enjoyable. and for those of you who don't know about Crooks and Liars, it's a completely great site. they post on political issues of the day and host lots and lots and lots and lots of video, at their own expense. nice of them, eh?

10.17.2005

Important News That Impacts You

horror of horrors, FOX has canceled The Simple Life.
shit. now what am i going to avoid watching while i have a fucking life?

more at the superficial.



Harvey Danger's new album, Little by Little..., is still excellent, and still available for free on their website. So go listen to it. What, do you have something better to do? it's free.

specially processed assorted meats

fuck spammers. thanks to comment spam, the act of leaving a comment has become slightly more complicated, in that i added a word verification step to keep spambots from leaving comments. because they've been doing it a lot. so yeah. fuck them in their stupid piggy asses.

FRRRRRRRRIENd?

we're bringing in two new staff grunts to sweep up the hair clippings that end up on the floor, and to clean up after that yappy fucking dog when it tears the goddamn wallpaper off.

one will be concentrating more on film; both reviews and discussion of past, present, and future films, and various aspects of filmmaking, and what-the-fuck-ever else he wants to write about. the other will be focusing on providing a counterpoint to my sheer, unadulterated mockery of your favorite bands. you whiny fucking losers. also look for both of our new friends (just kidding, you don't have any friends) to whine and cry about politics. probably i will, too.

in other news, get bent.

you're listening to KLA Media, Portland's Hottest Spot on the FM Dial

we have a few more songs being done for our project here at RSC, known as "the media." plenty of beats have been built, lyrics scrawled on the backs of labels peeled from beer bottles, tunes sung into cell phones, translated into german, and pureed with pickled beets. We also have a title for the album now. currentage:
Artist: the Media
Album: KLAMedia
1. Antoine the Jelly Jam
2. The Gas Sitch
3. Garden of the Arrow Jar
4. Capillary Sponge Bath in the Caterpillar's Hookah
5. Donna Matrix
6. The Continuing Adventures of John Stamos Among the Tangerine Mustard Flower People of Groblakulon Sebohday-Ha
7. How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Capitalize on a Flagon of Flies
8. Our Shit's the Shit, Shithead.
9. Pitch-Shifting Tarmac on Planet Ego

try and keep your shit together while you wait for this, you sloppy fucks. no biting. well, ok, you can bite, but don't draw blood. yeah. mmm. that's good. that's hot. keep doing that.

Seriously, Bitches. Fuck "Satisfaction."

shit, bitch. 88.5 WXPN has been doing a countdown of the 885 Greatest Albums of All Time, and they've been doing pretty good so far. the usual suspects are all accounted for: Blonde on Blonde, Graceland, Exile on Main Street, OK Computer, Kind of Blue - I can't really argue with these picks, except to say that the rolling stones are Lame. you know what i'm saying. the rolling stones are light years away from relevant, and haven't been anywhere near their former glory in about 40 years. did i mention mick jagger has to be the most annoying frontman in the history of rock and roll? every time i hear him speak i want to drop an elbow onto his temple. and what the fuck is with that special-ed chicken dance shit he does? sit on a mic stand, you pretentious fucking wank.

This brings me to the point of this post. "Satisfaction" fucking BLOWS. The song is total shit, and somehow it ends up as #1 on all these greatest song countdowns. WHO THE FUCK THINKS THIS IS A WELL-WRITTEN SONG? to call the main riff a "caveman riff" would be an insult to cave men everywhere. the lyrics consist of about eight words, 3/4 of which suck. the melody is one phrase, almost exactly the same, throughout the whole thing, which sucks, moved to match the two different chords in the song, both of which suck. I have just given you incotrovertible evidence on the shitness of "Satisfaction." The Stones have some good songs, but they're not the goddamn Jesuses of Cool like people seem to think. they're just very old men who did a lot of heroin, and took it in the ass from David Bowie.

(edit: the drums on "satisfaction" are pretty sweet. that does not mitigate the sucking.)

stay tuned for the next post, in which more of your favorite records will be shit on, or mine will be praised, or both.

10.14.2005

do the rock snob! doot doot doot doot doot doo doot doot doot

ok, check this shit out. since the p00fta and I are equal-opportunity snobs, we're working on a little musical project, so you guys can have something to which you can listen and feel superior. the name of our little project is the media, and while it'll still be at least a month before we're ready to put it all up, we have some song titles to share with you:
1. the Ballad of Antoine the Jelly Jam
2. Capillary Sponge Bath in the Caterpillar's Hookah
3. The Continuing Adventures of John Stamos Among the Tangerine Mustard Flower People of Groblakulon Sebohday-Ha
4. How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Capitalize on a Flagon of Flies
5. Our Shit's the Shit, Shithead.
6. Pitch-Shifting Tarmac on Planet Ego

i know, i know, your shorts are tight already. get used to the blueballs, bluebell. it'll be about a month or so. or so.
later sallys.

attention pathetic wannabes who need my advice:

remember, it's down the road, not across the street.

if that doesn't sound good to you, then you'd probably better do this:
A. Go to Harvey Danger's website.
2. Download their entire new album, for free, from the downloads section.
D. Listen to the song "Little Round Mirrors" and lay back in pop bliss.

if you're still not satisfied, try and track down a copy of "blue diamonds" by the Long Winters.

anyone who does not comply will be forcibly infected with the asian bird flu.

hands across the water.

so, how's it going? good? good. so there's this cool thing i've come across in my travels through the interweb, called audioscrobbler. it's basically a plug-in for whatever music player you use that records the names and data for the tracks you listen to, and then sends that to their central website. it uses that information to create a musical profile, and then matches you up with other people with similar taste. what i think is cool about that is that it matches you up on an artist-by-artist basis, rather than genre. it makes things a lot more interesting. they also hook your shit up with weekly charts, like your own personal billboard and shit.

once that profile gets itself set up (i think it needs like 100 songs) you can listen to streaming radio based on it. plus, other people can look at your profile and then laugh at how shitty your music is. pretty sweet, right? i thought it would be a nice thing to share with everybody, before i tear your taste to shreds.

10.13.2005

Enter the Rock Snob

Evening, bitches. let me tell you something, to let you know what this is all about. my name is mil0. i listen to music that is way better than the music you listen to. i am too cool for the radio. i am so cool, elvis calls me king. but for serious, this isn't just going to be about talking shit about music. i've got a comrade-in-arms waiting in the wings to spit cinema on you, and as soon as i get some kind of clue what i'm doing, and he tells me what username he wants, we are so going to educate your fool ass.
here's a smattering of subjects on which you'll be finding my indispensable thoughts in this dimly-lit corner of the interweb:
music
movies
food
politics
energy drinks
capillary spongebaths
cartoons
comics
television
hockey
swearing
sex
drugs
education

salivating yet? here's a bib, droolface.
anyway, this shit's gonna totally fuck your shit's shit up, so set your browsers for stunned.
bitches.