10.17.2005

Seriously, Bitches. Fuck "Satisfaction."

shit, bitch. 88.5 WXPN has been doing a countdown of the 885 Greatest Albums of All Time, and they've been doing pretty good so far. the usual suspects are all accounted for: Blonde on Blonde, Graceland, Exile on Main Street, OK Computer, Kind of Blue - I can't really argue with these picks, except to say that the rolling stones are Lame. you know what i'm saying. the rolling stones are light years away from relevant, and haven't been anywhere near their former glory in about 40 years. did i mention mick jagger has to be the most annoying frontman in the history of rock and roll? every time i hear him speak i want to drop an elbow onto his temple. and what the fuck is with that special-ed chicken dance shit he does? sit on a mic stand, you pretentious fucking wank.

This brings me to the point of this post. "Satisfaction" fucking BLOWS. The song is total shit, and somehow it ends up as #1 on all these greatest song countdowns. WHO THE FUCK THINKS THIS IS A WELL-WRITTEN SONG? to call the main riff a "caveman riff" would be an insult to cave men everywhere. the lyrics consist of about eight words, 3/4 of which suck. the melody is one phrase, almost exactly the same, throughout the whole thing, which sucks, moved to match the two different chords in the song, both of which suck. I have just given you incotrovertible evidence on the shitness of "Satisfaction." The Stones have some good songs, but they're not the goddamn Jesuses of Cool like people seem to think. they're just very old men who did a lot of heroin, and took it in the ass from David Bowie.

(edit: the drums on "satisfaction" are pretty sweet. that does not mitigate the sucking.)

stay tuned for the next post, in which more of your favorite records will be shit on, or mine will be praised, or both.

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